The Country I Love

Each day I wake up to a fresh hell via Facebook or MSM.  This morning I learned that another statue had been vandalized via decapitation.  One of my favorite movies is on the hate list (Gone with the Wind), Paw Patrol is under attack, and The Dukes of Hazzard is in danger again.  I have never seen tensions this high in my lifetime.  I have never seen people going to these extremes.  Six city blocks decided to engage in anarchy because police abandoned their posts.  What the hell is happening?  People have lost their damn minds!

The enormous double standard is sickening as well.  I just don’t understand how we have arrived at this point.  I think we are all failing.  I don’t think it’s one person or one political party or once incident.  All of us have a duty to keep history fresh in our minds to avoid repeating the sins of the past.  By tearing down monuments, we are stamping out our history.  History is what reminds us of where we’ve been and that going backward isn’t the way to make progress.

I am hurt for what’s happened to members of the black community.  With that said, I’m saddened to see all of the uprising and discord across the entire country.  The hippies were onto something, I think.  It seems that our great nation has its priorities completely mixed up.  What is it going to take to bring us back to center?  What’s it going to take to bring back balance?  I am even afraid to see the answers to those questions.

Spirit Animals: Bats

I think bats are adorable.  Yes, I know.  That’s not normal.  I just think they are fascinating, beautiful animals.  In the summertime I watch them from the front porch.  They fly in and devour the bugs by the street light.  They are fast predatory animals.  People often associate bats with vampires.  However, not all bats are vampire bats.  There are fruit bats as well as many other species.  People typically cringe at the thought of the bat.  They fear them.  So when the bat swoops into your life, what should you do?  As always, take a look at the references.  I have found three primary blogs to be very helpful throughout this entire series.

The Bat means that change is imminent and that you should be mindful of your surroundings.  The transition is most certainly looming, but don’t be afraid.  It may seem daunting and terrifying, but the change will grow you and help you elevate.  The bat means that you will change physically, mentally, emotionally, or all three.

Change is so hard.  When the bat arrives in a reading or in your life, the automatic reaction is terror.  It’s much like the reaction to The Tower in a tarot reading.  Sometimes we are thrust into change unwillingly, kick and screaming.  The bat reminds us to stay strong and keep our eyes on the prize.  The bat/change may be scary, but if we can see beyond that fear we will be successful.  Because the bat signifies change, it also symbolizes bravery.

The bat totem means that you probably a very sensitive person. The bat may be responsible for that trait.  You are also very observant and can see through the bull shit.  You don’t play games.  You get to the heart of the problem.  You are probably very social and have strong social ties.  You tend to be nurturing and use communication very well.  Your strongest sense is touch.  You use it to convey how you feel.  You are very perceptive, too.  You might have mighty psychic abilities.  Dream-state is your most profitable time of day; you may get very vivid messages while you dream.  This is a gift.  This is YOUR gift.  Can you see and interpret past lives?  You may want to see if there is a bat flying around you.  You may also be really good at adaptation.  Perhaps it’s because the bat signifies that consistent change.  You’ve learned to roll with the punches.

If you have ever seen nature shows featuring bats, you’ve noticed that they hang upside down.  The upside down positioning could symbolize a turn of events when it relates to spirituality.  However, that may not be the case.  The bat has the ability to outsmart gravity.  Whether you realize it or not, your past can be the force of gravity.  It can keep you from moving forward.  The bat reminds you that the past is behind you.  Hang tight.  It’s all going to come together.  These spirit animals are actually very positive.  They aren’t to be feared.  Yes, they bring change, but they also provide the courage you need to get through the change.

Couch (2015) provides some excellent information about the bat and rebirth.  In the wild, the bat gives birth to the baby while hanging upside down.  Believe it or not, the baby is born feet first (Couch, 2015).  These animals are born against the pull of gravity (Couch, 2015).  What this means is that you can use the bat’s strength in your own life.  Your new self is coming as a result of the change.

Many people think that rebirth means that we are coming into the light and that everything in the darkness will be revealed.  That isn’t always true.  Think about it.  Bats are nocturnal animals.  Their day begins at dusk.  Could it be that the big reveal will come when the sun goes down?  When things are at their darkest?  It is up to you to decide.  Once you do, you can fly just like the bat.  Realizing that you don’t have to be afraid of the dark, the change, and the growth will help you transcend far beyond the here and now.  You can delve into the mystery of the spirit with the help of your bat, learning new things about yourself as well as the many gifts you possess.

References

Bat symbolism.  (n.d.).  Spirit Animal Totems.  Retrieved from https://www.spirit-animals.com/bat/

Couch, S.  (2015, October 28).  Spirit animals:  Bat bravery [Blog post].  Wild Gratitude.  Retrieved from https://www.wildgratitude.com/bat-symbolism/

Harris, E.  (n.d.).  Bat spirit animal [Blog post].  Spirit Animal.  Retrieved from http://www.spiritanimal.info/bat-spirit-animal/

 

 

Fear & Fairness: A special Youtube presentation

Warning, there are political views expressed in this video that may be offensive to some audiences. Viewer discretion is advised.

I Am Grieved Sir!

I got that line from a Good Wife episode, by the way. Anyway, I had a friend of mine tell me about something that happened to her the other day. She is also a teacher. I was absolutely dumbfounded when she told me and I couldn’t believe the stupidity behind it all. It will either make you laugh or just shake your head.

She teaches college as well, but not the same place I teach. She and I have been friends for a really long time, so I know her pretty well and can attest that the accusations against her are completely unfounded. I’ve seen her instruct kids because she was MY instructor, and she is flawless. She has her moments and her struggles, but overall, she’s pretty darn awesome.

She was doing her job, giving the end-of-the-semester evaluations, just like she always does. She told me that she left the room, just like she is required to and she suddenly heard shouting coming from the classroom. She said she didn’t think anything of it because she figured there was some sort of discussion going on. She figured if there was a problem, one of the students would have left the room to get her. Her class always had colorful discussions, so she wasn’t shocked that they may have been talking while completing the evaluation.

She told me that the next thing she knew one of the older gentlemen in the class got up and stormed out. She told me that she wished him a good day, but he then snapped at her. Because the class wasn’t finished with the evaluations, she stayed in the hallway reading some of the assignments for the upcoming semester. The student proctor then came out, red in the face and trembling. The poor kid was visibly upset and told my friend that the guy who just stormed out really upset the class with some of the things he said. The proctor told my friend he [the proctor] wasn’t sure what he should do. My friend assured him that he needn’t be upset and that the evaluations were strictly voluntary; no one was going to get in trouble if they didn’t do the evaluation.

When my friend walked back into the class, she noticed that many of the students showed visible signs of alarm. Some were flushed. Others, she told me, just looked shell-shocked. She told me that her first thought was, “What the hell happened here?” She said that she told the students that no one would be in trouble if they didn’t complete the evaluations. It didn’t seem to help the atmosphere and the energy.

When the idiot who stormed out returned, she told me there was a mass exodus of students. She said many of them left the class, which was fine because technically they were dismissed. She’d covered all she needed to for the day prior to the evaluations. She told me that the one odd thing was that the guy who stormed out NEVER stayed to use the lab and this time he didn’t leave. It was like he was hovering to bully anyone who stayed behind.

She also told me he mouthed off something to her about one of his papers. She said in all of her years teaching, at the high school and college level, she’d never had anyone do that. I told her she was lucky given the climate of today’s students. Then she told me he wasn’t a younger student, but was, in fact the same age as her.

She said that some of the students came to her after the class and after the over-aged bully left. She said they were concerned, but none of them really seemed scared; more agitated than anything. She said that the proctor was the first to speak up and tell her what happened. He told her that the man started yelling about her [my friend], saying she used illegal drugs and that she shouts all of the time. Another student spoke up and told her that there were a couple of students who went right back at him and told him, in not such a polite manner, to shut up and keep his thoughts to himself. Naturally, my friend was alarmed.

I have seen her plan for her classes and have watched her interact with students, I being one of them. For anyone to accuse her of using drugs is laughable, and from what she has told me, the guy that caused all of the problems is an avid drug user, admitting that his drug deals have gone wrong at times. She said she overheard him talking once about it.

Needless to say, I did my best to tell her that she didn’t have anything to worry about. The students love her and she is a great teacher. In fact, she has been a mentor to me as a first year instructor. I don’t know what I would have done without her help. I had never seen her so rattled. For this guy to accuse her of such craziness… how do you process that?

Okay, so she teaches a couple of other classes and one of the guys in one of her evening classes is friends with the proctor from the other class. The student showed her tweets all over social media about what happened and that some students were actually scared. Scared! I guess my reaction to this is, WHAT IS HAPPENING? How is it okay to act this way to a person in a leadership position? Sure, if you don’t like the person or the way you are taught, it’s okay to leave feedback, even negative feedback?

I guess I’m writing this because not only am I in complete shock about the entire situation, but she is now questioning whether to go back and continue teaching. I told her that she shouldn’t let one bad apple keep her from doing what she loves,especially as an almost thirty-year veteran. I told her I thought she should address it either through the administration or even face-to-face with the bully who started all of this, but not to quit.

Here’s another point that has rattled me a bit. This guy is older, as I said. Most of the time you hear younger people exercising this type of disrespect. But, not this time. All of my life I’ve been told it’s my generation that will be the ruination of this world. Well, it looks like that doesn’t hold much water when you have an “elder” showing so much disrespect.

Then she finally tells me that his grades are very poor in her class. So, there is the crux of the problem. Because she has integrity and has to follow the standards that are set before her, he got pissed and ended up acting like a brainless, spineless mutant. I feel so bad for my friend. What a tragedy. I would have NEVER dreamed of treating anyone, let alone a teacher, this way. But, then again, I wasn’t raised by savages.

New episode on YouTube: Why are scary movies so scary?

In preparation for tomorrow night’s episode of Spiritus Walking with author Tracee Ford, I’m going to share with you why I personally can’t watch many horror movies anymore. Keep in mind, this is an autobiographical look at my life and how it relates to horror films. This isn’t related to any research.

As a child I was never allowed to watch horror movies. In fact, I was once sick and sleeping on the couch and happen to wake up while my dad was watching a horror movie. I can still see it in my head. A set of darkly lit stairs, someone walking down them, and then a creature grabbing the poor unsuspecting person’s ankle. Yes, it terrified me.

As I grew older, I still had a fear of horror movies. I hated The Lost Boys. I tried to watch it at my friend’s house during a sleep over. It gave me nightmares for a month. I hated creepy, scary, horrifying situations. I remember watching the Halloween series with a boyfriend and I truly was fascinated by the dynamics of those movies, but I can’t say that about any other movies during that time.

Then I hit my late teens and early twenties and began to realize the tricks of cinematography. I wasn’t so scared anymore. My favorite horror movie is probably Jaws. Of course, it didn’t involved demons or ghosts either. Poltergeist was pretty profound for me. I watched it, but wow, did it scare me! It took me until college to watch The Howling and to this day I can’t say I completely understood it.

When I got married and settled into my new life as a wife, things still made me a little jumpy, understandably so if you’ve kept up with the Bumps in the Night series. It wasn’t until I got divorced that the fear of horror moves fell by the wayside. I would say this is in part because my belief system changed. If you don’t believe in heaven and hell anymore, what does it matter? It’s all make-believe anyway, right?

I watched Saw and The American Werewolf in London and The American Werewolf in Paris along with many, many other movies in the horror genre. Then I saw Amityville Horror, the older version and the newer version. Both fascinated me, but both were terrifying. As much as I enjoyed watching Ryan Reynolds, knowing that the movie was based on actual events frightened me. I found as I began working my way through horror movies, the films depicting demonic activity or hauntings tended to put me on edge a little more.

Zombie movies, slasher movies, and those sorts of films didn’t bother me as much and to be honest, I’ve lost interest in those kinds of movies. In fact, I don’t waste my time watching those sorts of things anymore, but before I became enlightened, I guess, I remember watching the Final Destination movies and not even cringing. Then my chemistry changed. Movies that I could stomach before, I couldn’t expose myself to any longer. I tried to watch Hostile; I turned it off when the torture scenes began. I couldn’t stomach it; the anxiety was too much for me to deal with.

Here’s another funny tidbit. When I became aware of my abilities, I started watching television shows like Celebrity Ghost Stories and things along those lines. They fascinated me. I was probably just glad to know that I wasn’t alone or crazy, but after the first botched ghost hunt and the demonic entity in my home, my ability to watch those kinds of programs came to a halt. I tried to continue watching those shows, but I felt uneasy, had nightmares, and had funny feelings when watching, as if I was not alone in the room. I figured out that there might have been some truth to the fact that movies and programs with such heavy content very well might open a door of some sort. That is what most Christian doctrines say. They preach against not watching such things because it is felt that it opens the door to allow evil to enter. They also say that about anything containing sex or violence. In my case, however,  the door pretty much stays open to the other dimensions, but being hypersensitive to the paranormal and then watching those types of programs overloads my system.

To this day I have never watched The Exorcist and I don’t plan to. I watched The Rite and The Exorcism of Emily Rose and I did find them to scare me, but I handled it. Here’s why they scared me. I saw something in them that spoke to the reality of situations, just like I saw when I watched Amityville Horror. It brought to my mind too much realistic possibilities. Feelings I’d experienced as a child. The innate fear that all of us have to some degree of ghosts until there comes a time when we understand what ghosts are and what they do.

So are you wondering how I can write about haunted houses, demons, ghosts, and serial killers? To be honest with you I can’t quite explain to you how it’s possible. It’s just something I do. I won’t tell you it isn’t taxing because it is. Writing The Fine Line was a little less intense than Idolum, but both were very draining at times.

When I write, I see the book and the plot play in my head like a movie. When I write, I feel what the characters are feeling. I see what they see. I share their experiences. That can often drain my energy; this might be why I can only write in small doses, which is why it takes me so long to finish a project perhaps (besides the fact that all I seem to do is work outside of the home). So, my thought is that watching horror movies tends to do the same thing to me. I relate to the characters as I watch the movie. In my mind I say, “What would I do in a situation like that?” or “I have been in that situation before.” It is almost too personal for me. Again, I also think there is some truth to the fact that it opens a door between this world and the one beyond and not all of the travelers walking through that door is friendly.

So there you have it. That is why I now cannot watch horror movies as often as I used to. Yes, I can still watch some, but for the most part, I steer clear. I have enough dream activity at night and I don’t need to tap into nightmares because of things I watch. My dreams tend to be the inlet for my spirit guides and those that have passed on; not always, but sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to see The Conjuring, but a part of me fears even exposing myself to it. When you open that door (for lack of a better analogy), sometimes you can’t necessarily close it as quickly as you’d like. And as I said, my door swings open and closed on a daily basis; the veil thins and sometimes I can see right into a world that many believe doesn’t even exist. I don’t need extra incentive to do this.

Thanks for following along. Enjoy your day wherever you are in this big world. Love & light to you. You can watch the episode on my YouTube channel tomorrow night airing at 8 p.m. EST.