Yesterday I witnessed what happens when you treat people the wrong way your entire life. There are some things that you can just see in people; darkness, light, genuineness, compassion, hate, fear. When you come across someone who has held you in high regard only because of what you can give them, you have seen the worst kind of person besides a liar and a thief (although they often overlap). You have beheld the legendary “user.” The person that searches their entire life for people that they can suck dry and take advantage of. Their true self is often difficult to hide. In fact, others usually catch onto this personality type quite fast or even the user sometimes doesn’t try to hide what they really are.
They say “what goes around, comes around” and it is rare that you get to see this, but when you do, you can’t deny that it’s happening. It’s rather astounding, in fact. It’s also a fact that when someone dies, it usually brings out the absolute worst in people, especially the user who is anticipating a large pay-off. In our little story, we’re going to call the deceased person “Mother.” In her last requests, she left her worldly possessions to everyone but the User.
The User spent her life stealing from and using the Mother. If there was nothing to gain, the User would not participate, yet, presently, she demands that everyone, namely her close family, fall down at her feet and give her all. This view backfired on the User.
I observed the User’s expression before the will of the Mother was read to those summoned together. She looked confident and prepared for a reward. However, it did not turn out quite that way. While others in the family were left money and property, the User was given a very, very small sum of money. It didn’t even exceed $10 (nothing else). The User was also given a three page letter from the Mother. The pain she caused the Mother didn’t go unnoticed. The Mother may have kept quiet all of those years, but when it came right down to it, her hurt spilled over into her last wishes and her last requests.
I once felt that the Mother’s view of the User was skewed and unfair. I thought the Mother was too hard on the User. Nonetheless, I have since changed my opinion as I have watched the User try to take from her own children and other family. In her world, she is all that matters and she should be held as royalty by others around her. The User demands money from her children and tells them that they should leave all that they have worked for and mold their lives to suit hers. And now, because I do not have the job or the career, per say, that I once had and my ability to be used went to the floor, I too am worthless in the eyes of the User as well.
I am seen as an inconvenience. I can’t count how many times I have been told by the User I need to get my a** to work and come to where the User lives and take care of the User because I’m a “nurse.” I’m not a nurse. I am a nurse’s aide, but that isn’t the issue. I was told I should make her child bow to her wishes. When I was assisting with going through the Mother’s things, more comments were made about how the cousins “all worked.” In other words, “You don’t. Thus you are of now use.” Keep in mind, reader, I have worked seventeen out of my thirty-eight years compared to the User’s sparsely worked seven years out of her sixty-odd on this planet.
As most of my followers and readers know, 2014 was a very dark year for me and I find myself still struggling with that darkness. Long before that, I battled a similar situation to the User. I was to worship and bend to the person’s will and I was even called “evil” at one juncture because I developed a backbone. I have learned from the situation, though. But, has it made me stronger or just bitter? So, when the User implies over and over that I am worthless because I do not have a job, it brings back other painful memories that I must battle.
Despite the fact that the situation is painful for me, I do not feel right about causing a scene when the User just lost someone close, if the person even has the ability to feel anything unless money is involved. In fact, I overheard the User say that she would stay and be “polite” and make sure the Mother was buried. Otherwise, she would leave. Because there was nothing more to take and nothing more to gain, she had no reason to stay.
To top it all off, last night the User accused me and her own child of stealing her money. Should I remain quiet? Because it is not my family, I am keeping my mouth closed. In doing that, is that healthy? I have kept quiet about so many other things and all of that pain just builds and festers and makes the darkness even more real. So, what is the answer? Is there an answer? I’m not the kind of person that can just shrug things off, even though I am guilty of burying it deep inside.
I suppose the point of this is that I saw the User get what was coming to her. No more did I have to wonder why the User’s own children want nothing to do with her. I don’t have to question why her children are unsympathetic and why her brothers and sisters do not wish to be bothered with her. She plays the part of the victim, but she doesn’t even do it well.
The other point to today’s blog is to say this: Karma is real. It isn’t a made up “might be.” What we do will come back to us in time. I need to remember this, too. Whatever I have done to others will re-visit me. There is a natural order, I believe. A system of checks and balances in the universe. When we treat someone well, we will find that others treat us well. When we show compassion toward others, we will receive compassion. When we treat others poorly, those seeds that we sow, we will reap. I sincerely wish I didn’t feel the anger I feel, but I am told that only time will heal it. Because I know that the anger will come back to get me, I wish I could put it aside and become numb to its damage. Still, I can’t dismiss it because it is always there, waiting to come forward through tears or some other manor of release.
So, remember, Karma truly isn’t a nice lady. She is wicked and just. And when you are able to finally see Karma at her best or her worst, you’ll never forget what it looks like or what it feels like. You’ll never doubt her existence after that.