Where Have I Been?

I apologize for my absence. Things have been very, very busy here. School started for my son. Me back to work, two part time jobs. A situation with our dog arose. I haven’t been on my blog much. I suppose it’s time I got back to it.

Today we’re going to talk about resolve. If you’ve been keeping up with my YouTube series, Stages of Chaos, you know that this subject was explored on that show. As you also know, if you’ve been following me, I’ve temporary taken a break from my YouTube filming. In fact, I put a call out to my audience for some ideas for shows, but very few people must be reading my blog because I never got any suggestions. Perhaps I’m writing this for myself. I have no idea.

Anyway, when we encounter situations that leave us with our mouth gaping open, the first thing we look for in the fog is the answer or in certain circumstances, answers. We ask ourselves why a situation has happened or what would should be learning from it. Keep in mind that once one thing happens it usually starts a domino effect. That’s why a lot of people who are encountering one trauma find themselves working through several issues.

So, what can we do to help ourselves through such drastic circumstances? The first thing to do is to let yourself feel the pain. Let yourself feel the loss. Denying it at first is very normal. In fact this is the second stage of chaos. But, no matter how hard we try to tell ourselves that it’s all just a dream, it isn’t and we must face the reality of whatever is happening to us.

After we get through all of the major stages we reach a point where we can begin to find resolve. There are many ways we can do this. For those that have experienced the loss of a loved one, finding resolve can take months, even years. Sometimes it’s a matter of just getting up every day, working through the grief on a minute to minute basis, and carrying on. Some days are more difficult than others.

For those that have experienced trauma through abuse, resolve is also a process of day-by-day determination. Often the survivor is stuck in denial, but once they work through that and then shift through the anger, finally coming through depression, they can begin to heal. In situations like this I would highly recommend counseling and therapy. Abuse is not something that will just resolve. In fact, studies have shown that abuse produces chemical changes in the brain. These are life-long changes. It can involve behavior, moral decision making, impulse control response, self esteem, motivation, and a host of other brain functions that are vital to our daily living. Therapy will often provide some resolve and a pathway to overcoming.

For individuals who have been impacted by an accident, leaving him/her disabled, anger can be paramount. Again, I recommend therapy in these situations as well. Sometimes people can go through physical therapy as well as counseling and find some resolve. Other times, this cannot be done. No matter what the situation, support from family, friends, and professionals is a must.

There is a grieving process in this situation as well. The person has just lost a part of themselves and their activities of daily living may be limited. That loss of independence can be devastating on many, many levels. This will surely impact attitude as well as emotional well being. So, finding resolve will take the help of the aforementioned parties. Constant and consistent encouragement is also important.

For someone who is facing loss of income through job loss or the loss of loved one, this can call from some adjustment. The important thing in all of these situation is to never give up and always keep trying. No matter how the cards are stacked against you, there will always be some way of escape. It may not be the way we want, but there is one available if we look hard enough.

It is also important to stay positive. This is one of the hardest things to do in adverse situations. Trust me, I can attest to this. In fact, it is perfectly normal to feel like, at times, you’re losing your grip. It’s also okay to cry. As I said, let yourself feel what is happening, but when you find the resolve, embrace it.


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