Living in Northern New Jersey originally from Long Island, Jill Prand is a wife and mother of two girls. She’s been an avid reader all her life, spending Sunday afternoons curled up with a good book. “We had a huge bookshelf in our den when I was a child with a diverse set of authors like Ayn Rand, Stephen King, Mario Puzo & Danielle Steele. I cut my literary teeth on Walter Farley, Judy Blume and SE Hinton before raiding my parent’s library.” Jill is currently working on the Walking Series as well as a standalone novel. She loves to hear from readers.
Walk into Me
I know I will never get over her. Watching her walk away with him ripped my heart out and left it bleeding on the floor. But I can’t hide anymore. I have to face my life without her. ~ Brad
Brad has been in love with Lisa for as long as he can remember. One night years ago they took each other’s virginity but while it was the best night of Brad’s life, for Lisa it was a way to forget about Bobby. Or was it?
Brad re-emerges right when Lisa needs him most. Only Brad knows everything about her and when Lisa’s insecurities come to the surface the shoulder Lisa needs is Brad’s. Now Brad has to decide if he has it in him to trust his heart.
Amazon US: http://amzn.com/B00IK6H4M8
Barnes & Noble: http://tinyurl.com/kexu2cu
Amazon UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00IK6H4M8
Excerpt 1 Brad & Lisa * all ages
She graces me with an awesome smile while putting packages in my arms and hanging gift bags from my fingers. In minutes, she has almost the entire contents of the table loaded on me. The only thing left are cards and my gift. “I’ll take these,” she says as she smirks at me. “You good?”
“Yeah, I can handle it,” I follow her to her room trying not to drop anything. I make it into her room just as one of the boxes starts to slip. I try to save it, but by doing that two others are falling. I sprint to her bed and open my arms, and all but the one that was originally falling land on the bed. “I hope that wasn’t breakable,” I comment as I glance at the gift on the floor.
I hear her laugh behind me. God, I love that sound. “I’m surprised you only dropped one,” she chuckles. “You should have seen your face.”
She comes over to the bed still laughing and clears off a place for us to sit. I drop down next to her and pull her into me; I just need to hold her. I breathe her in and I am instantly hard. Why do I always react this way to her when she has no interest? “I missed you,” I whisper.
She keeps her head on my shoulder. “I missed you, too, and I’m sorry.” She sits up and pulls away from me so she can look in my eyes. “I never meant to leave you like that, but when Bobby showed up I couldn’t think of anything other than getting in his arms.” She looks down at her hands before speaking again. “I know that hurts you and you have no idea what I would do to take that pain away.”
I can’t stay mad at her; I never could. I know she is hurting for me and I love her all the more for it. If she just turned away from me and locked me out of her life, maybe I could get over her. Our lives are intertwined now, her friends are my friends. The only people I talk to from high school are the same ones she talks to; so unless I want to cut ties with all of them, I need to figure out a way to deal. I take her hands in mine, she looks up at me with tears in her eyes and I just want to pull her into my arms and tell her everything is alright and I will be here for her forever. Instead I say, “I know you don’t want to hurt me Lisa, but I can’t tell you that seeing you with Bobby is easy for me. At the same time, I want to see you and be a part of your life.”
The tears fall from her eyes and she leans against me. I put my arms around her and hug her wishing I could pull her onto my lap, but that would be hard on both of us. I stroke my hand up and down her back hoping it will be comfort enough because if I touch her any more I won’t be able to stop. I pull back slightly. “Why don’t you open your present?”
She grabs the box behind her shaking it lightly; she can hear jingling. I know this is something that she will appreciate and give her a place to go if she needs to think. She looks up at me before opening. “What is it?” She asks me quietly.
“Open it and find out,” I tell her with an evil smirk.
She rips the paper, opens the box, and gasps at the contents. “Are these keys to your boat?” She takes out the keys attached to a floatable buoy. Her eyes light up and I know I picked the perfect gift.
“Yes, I made you a set. You can take it out whenever you want, just make sure you gas it up when you use it. I don’t want to get half way down the river and run out,” I say as I smile at her. “I want to take you out the first time to show you the channels so you don’t run aground again, but after that you have free reign.”
Laughing she says, “Well, I wasn’t driving last time we ran aground, but I have no problem going out with you to make sure it won’t happen to me.” She hugs me before adding, “You have no idea how much I need this, thank you.”
Excerpt 2 Lisa & Brad: all ages
Brad walks in and I hadn’t even heard his car pull up. When I get up and give him a hug, it hits me again how much I’ve missed him. “I’m so glad you came over,” I murmur. It just slips out in a whisper; I didn’t really mean to actually say it. I try to cover it up. Pulling him with me to the couch and down next to me just like usual. Only I’m not close enough. I need to be touching him for some reason. I lean into him and he puts his arm around me and there is the feeling I need, secure at peace, I sigh. He hugs me tighter to him.
John says something to him, but I missed it because I’m so caught up in being in his arms. I hear him answer and his voice is hesitant. Is he here because he wants to be? Am I being selfish? I don’t want to hurt him anymore, but I need him.
Jodi tells him how everyone missed him and I realize that it’s not just me that he pulled away from but everyone. My actions cut him off. How did he get through it and do I have the right to put him through it again? My heart breaks for him knowing that he had no one to help him through the pain. I can feel the tears coming to my eyes and I look up at him. “I’m sorry,” two words that I seem to say to him over and over.
He caresses my cheek and puts his lips to my forehead and whispers, “It’s okay pretty girl.”
He hasn’t called me that in years! I don’t remember when he started the name, but I know when he stopped. After we had sex and I wouldn’t be with him. When I broke his heart the first time, the first of many times. How can he stand to be around me?
Tears flow out of my eyes. I hear Jodi and John get up and go into the kitchen then I look up at him. “Am I still your pretty girl?”
I see the indecision in his eyes. He wants me, but he knows he can’t have me. I want…I don’t know what I want. I want to take his pain away. “You have always been my pretty girl, and you always will be.” He wipes my tears away, but more fall. “Please don’t cry. You’re ripping my heart out with your tears.”
I see his pain, can feel it radiating off of him. He drops his hands and moves to get up. “No!” I can’t let him leave! I need to get this out and in the open. I need to be near him. “Please don’t leave me. I know it’s not right, but I need you here with me. I need you.” My body moves on impulse alone and I’m straddling him. This is an intimate position. I put my hands to his face, but my eyes don’t move above his lips. The lips that tell me the truth, that comfort me when I’m hurting. I move forward slowly, if he stops me I’ll let him, but I really want to feel those lips on mine. Just once. Just for a second to see how it feels. I lightly touch his lips with mine, quickly pulling away, but that wasn’t enough. I go back and press my lips to his and there is that flutter in my stomach again and it makes me sigh. As my mouth opens Brad wraps his arms around me, drawing me closer to him and his tongue is in my mouth. Stroking, exploring and I feel him get hard under me. I want to grind myself into him, but I can’t. I’m not free to follow this and I do want to follow this. What does that say about me? Tears stream down my face, my heart is fracturing in half. One side has attached itself to Bobby, but the other half has just ripped out of my chest and given itself to Brad. I’m broken and I don’t think I’ll be whole again.
Brad feels the tears and pulls back. “Did I hurt you?” He asks. It’s not what he thinks.
“No, but I can’t do this,” I say. His hands drop from my face and his eyes get hard. Struggling to explain, I say, “I want to do this and I’m confused. I feel like my heart is being cleaved in half and I’m scared.” I’ve always been truthful with Brad. He will understand. He may not like it, but he’ll understand.
He closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. He puts his hands on my thighs and I don’t know if he is going to push me off him. I wouldn’t blame him and I would let him go this time. If he needs to think away from me I will give him space. Suddenly he pulls me to him and buries his face in my neck. My hands move to him, one stroking his hair, the other fisted with his shirt on his back. I just hold him and let him gather himself. He needs this, the closeness, he’s scared, too. I know it, I know him and I will give him anything right now.
We stay this way for what feels like an hour, but in reality it was only minutes. His breathing slows and he starts stroking my back. He lifts his head and looks at me. His eyes…his beautiful blue eyes are filled with unshed tears. My hand releases his shirt and moves to his jaw, covered with stubble, and I stroke it. I don’t know what to say to him so I just let my eyes do my talking. Questioning him and hoping that he understands that I want him, but I want Bobby, too, and I don’t know how to choose one of them. I need them both and it will probably end up killing us all. We will all end up bleeding in the end and I wish I could walk away from both of them, but I’m not strong enough for that.
Excerpt 3 Lisa & Bobby *18+ only
He raises his head and the pleading look in his eyes undoes me. I grab him, pulling his face up to mine as I open my legs for him. The second our lips meet the fire bursts between us. My body aches for the touch of his hands on me, the feel of his mouth, his length inside me. All thoughts of the talk we need to have vanish and it is just Bobby and me, doing what we do best. Our bodies know this dance, but it always feels new. I tug at his shirt unable to get it off fast enough. He pushes off me, kneeling between my legs as he grabs the back of his shirt the way men do, and throws it on the floor. My eyes drink him in; he is so perfect. His body is built like a swimmer’s, not too much muscle, but clearly defined. He has just a smidgen of hair on his chest and a happy trail that leads to nirvana. Scars mar his beauty reminding me of the perils of his work. The need to touch him overtakes me and I reach up to him. Taking my hand he pulls me up, “Your turn now baby. I need to see you, too.”
I pull my jersey over my head and it joins his shirt on the floor. I unclasp my bra, letting the straps fall off my shoulders, but holding it in front. Bobby moans, “Take it off baby. Now.”
Grinning wickedly at him, it makes me feel so powerful knowing how I affect him. I slowly remove my left arm from the strap. Switching hands on the cups I repeat the process on the right, never taking my eyes off him. “Lose the pants and I’ll drop it.”
He’s off the bed in a flash, pushing out of his shoes and undoing his pants, his eyes never leave mine as I move back to lean against the headboard. He pushes his pants and underwear off in one smooth motion, kicking them to the side, as I drop the bra. I cup my breasts and pinch my nipples. “Show me what you’ve got for me, doll. Stroke it for me.” He growls, but complies with my wishes, it’s not often I take control of our lovemaking, but when I do I know just how to drive him to the edge. He strokes his impressive cock and I can see he’s having trouble holding back, there is already pre-cum pooling at the tip. I continue to pull on my breasts in time to the rhythm of his hand on his erection drawing a moan from my mouth. God, he is beautiful, and all mine. I can’t take any more of this torture, “I need your mouth on me.” It comes out as practically a whisper, but he hears me.
Book 1 Watch Me Walk Away
At the age of seventeen, Lisa was broken when Bobby left. He was supposed to be her first. First Love. First Time. First Everything. No word for six long years. She moved away from the painful reminders sacrificing her relationship with her best friend Brad. She struggled to rebuild her life.
Now six years later she returns as a strong, successful woman grabbing a job at one of New York’s hottest marketing agencies. She is dating a gorgeous guy with his eyes on a corner office. But it all changes when she sees Bobby again.
Can she risk another heartbreak from Bobby? Will she be able to repair her friendship with Brad? Lisa will have to decide between the man she’s with, and the two men that want her.
Who will she be with, and who will she tell to “Watch Me Walk Away?”
Excerpt 1 Bobby & Lisa:
I hear his car pull up and am out the door like a bullet. I wave to Arthur in the front seat and the back door open and he is here. I freeze and just look at him. God he looks good enough to eat. He shuts the door and walks up to me and stops. I want to throw myself at him and shove my tongue in his mouth.
“Hi, Beautiful.” He lifts his hand to caress my cheek. “God you look good. I missed you.” And that’s it. I grab his hair and pull him down for a kiss. We both groan when our mouths touch. His arms go around me and he picks me up and holds me close. Our mouths open at the same time and our tongues battle for dominance. All thought has left my mind I just want to get closer to him. I wrap my legs around him and use my thighs to push up so my mouth is above his. One of his arms goes under my ass to hold me up. Both my hands are now in his hair my elbows resting on his arms. He nips on my lower lip and I counter by sucking on his tongue. I press my core into his abs and rub myself up and down. He groans against my mouth and squeezes my ass. Finally I need to take a breath and pull away.
“Hi, Handsome,” I pant. I release the pressure of my thighs a little so I am more eyelevel with him.
“Wow that was some welcome.” He smiles at me. His hand is rubbing my ass sending shivers through my body.
One of my hands releases his hair and I caress the five o’clock shadow on his cheek. “Well I missed you too.” I smile back.
I kiss him again. I can’t stop. My whole body feels like an electric current is running through it. My hands alternate running from his neck down his back. He is all muscle and I feel his reaction to me as his skin shivers as I go over it. His hand is on my neck holding our mouths together as his tongue searches my mouth. His other hand is kneading my ass almost between my legs. I want his fingers on me, in me. This time it’s him who breaks the kiss and I moan as his lips move away. We look at each other both breathing hard.
“You have two choices” he pants. I raise my eyebrow in question. “Either we go inside or I have Arthur drive us back to the city.”
As he is talking my hand moves from his back up over his shoulder and is now unbuttoning the top of his polo shirt. Just as he ends his ultimatum my hand moves against his skin between his pecks. His eyes flare and his pupils are so dilated I can’t see any blue at all. It makes my panties even wetter knowing that I’m affecting him like this. He grabs my left leg to get me down and I surprise him with hooking my right leg between his and using his body like a pole to slip down until I’m standing.
I haven’t answered him yet and he’s just about to say something as I grab his hand and take a step back towards the house. “We’ll go inside. But we’re going to have to be social for a few minutes. We were watching a movie.”
He stops walking and releases my hand. “You have to give me a minute if I have to be around other people.” He looks down with a sheepish look in his eyes and my eyes follow his. I can see his problem bulging out in the front of his pants and I give him a small giggle. “Not funny” he growls. At that I break out into a huge laugh. He looks at me like I’ve lost my head.
When I’ve calmed down enough to talk I say, “So nothing’s changed since high school. How many times were we caught together where I had to stand in front of you to block someone’s view?”
Now it’s his turn to laugh, “I guess you’re right. But you’re not going to be cruel and wiggle your fine ass against me while we stand there now are you?”
I give him an evil grin, “Now why would I do that? It’s not like I enjoy torturing you.”
He rolls his eyes and grabs me. “God I’ve missed you. No one else teases me or makes me laugh. And I have never wanted to spank anyone else.” He whispers that last line into my ear and my whole body quakes. “I will swat that sweet ass if you don’t behave.”
I look up at him and he is smiling like a kid on Christmas morning. I have to admit it feels so natural this banter with him. I’ve never been this relaxed and turned on at the same time with anyone else. I have to smile back at him because I just feel happy. “I’ll be good. I promise” and this time I mean it.
Excerpt 2 – Bobby & Lisa
I wake to the smell of coffee and bacon. I am alone in the bed. I stretch and smile, I am a little sore after last night but my body getting used to Bobby’s size is so worth the discomfort. I get up and go to the bathroom, oh a Jacuzzi tub big enough for two we will definitely have to try that out later. I wash my face and use my finger to brush my teeth my bag is still in the guest room.
I go to Bobby’s closet to find something to slip into. Hmm a black button down shirt will do nicely. I roll up the sleeves and do the last three buttons. I love dressing in men’s clothes in the morning. I run my fingers through my hair and walk towards the kitchen. I hear Bobby humming along to The Killers’ ‘Here With Me’. His back is to me and I can see more scars where the bullets came out. I am so lucky he made it back.
My man is hot! The song changes to The Lumineers’ ‘Ho Hey’ and he moves his hips in time to the music. I lean against the door frame and just watch until I can’t resist touching him anymore. I start walking towards him just as he turns to reach for something and spots me, “I was going to bring you breakfast in bed,” he says smiling at me. He reaches for me and our lips meet, he tastes like coffee and toothpaste. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close, I reach up to caress the stubble on his face, he looks so hot when he doesn’t shave.
When he ends the kiss I just want to pull him back, “I see you raided my closet, damn girl you look hot in my clothes.”
I run my hands over his chest, “And you look hot out of them.” I look at his body and trace his abs down to the open button of his jeans. His breath catches as my fingers start exploring right above his zipper, “I am hungry, but not for breakfast.”
Lisa & Brad #1
“Wait,” I look up at him. “We need to get some things straight between us. I’m sorry that I screwed us up. I never should have asked you to be with me just because Bobby rejected me. I was angry and hurt but that did not give me the right to use you. It was not my intention to change our relationship and if I could go back to that night I would do it because I lost my best friend that night and I want him back.”
“You didn’t lose me Lisa. You could never lose me. Do I want more than friendship with you? Yes but I wanted that before we slept together. If all I can have of you is friendship I’ll take it. Do I fantasize about you waking up one morning and seeing that Bobby is not worthy of your love? Hell yes because I don’t want to have to pick up pieces of your heart again. And I owe you an apology too. After that night you needed me to be your friend and all I wanted was to be with you again. I couldn’t see that by not letting you heal first I was pushing you away. I wonder all the time if I had just stopped and not pushed you to give me what I wanted if somehow we could have eventually come together. So now I will be your friend because not having you in my life at all is worse than having to be just a friend.”
The tears are running down my cheek and he pulls me into his arms. He doesn’t say anything else just rubs the back of my neck. Why can’t I love this guy? How can my heart want anyone else? I put my arms around his waist and hold tight which is a good thing because just then we run aground. The boat stops suddenly and we are pitched forward. Brad puts the engine in reverse but all that happens is brown silt is churned up by the outboard motor. Brad cuts the engine so we don’t burn it out.
“Looks like we’re stuck here for a while,” he says as he puts his arms back around me. “High tide is in about an hour so we shouldn’t have to wait too long to get free.”
I can’t help but laugh. It starts out as a chuckle but starts to build. I feel his responding laugh starting as I pull away and look up at him, “Well this is a familiar dilemma. But I am not jumping in the water to get us unstuck. If we need to lighten up you are going in.”
“It’s my boat and I have to drive it,” he is still laughing.
“Yes but you weigh almost two of me so we will rise twice as far. And you’re stronger than me, you can push us off. And I have driven this boat before.” I point out.
“Like seven or eight years ago,” he says. “It’s a moot point anyway, I don’t mind waiting on the tide.”
I walk to the bow and sit on one of the benches there, “Fine we will wait for the tide.”
He comes and sits opposite of me, “Well then finish telling me about Bobby and Stuart.”
And just like that I have my friend back. I tell him everything, all my feelings and fears. The fact that my body still reacts to Bobby when he touches me or even looks at me. That I’m scared he’ll break me apart but more scared that if I don’t give it a chance I will regret it for the rest of my life. I tell him about my night with Stuart and that I can’t see myself with him this time next month.
Then he asks me a question that floors me, “Out of all the men in your life, who can you see still being there with you in five years?”
My only answer, “You.”
Watch Me Walk Away Playlist
What Hurts the Most – Rascal Flatts
Walk Away – Kelly Clarkson
Somebody That I Used To Know – Gotye
Born This Way – Lady Gaga
SexyBack – Justin Timberlake
Drive By – Train
Someone Like You – Adele
Love Her Madly – The Doors
Not Over You – Gavin DeGraw
Wide Awake – Katy Perry
Here With Me – The Killers
Ho-Hey – The Lumineers
When I Was Your Man – Bruno Mars
Somebody’s Heartbreak – Hunter Hayes
Wanted – Hunter Hayes
If I were stuck on a desert island this is what I wish I had with me:
Top 5 Movies:
Pride & Prejudice
My Fair Lady
Silence of the Lambs
Five Books on my Kindle (okay I’m cheating on this one a little):
Thoughtless Trilogy by SC Stephens
Anything by Nicole Edwards ** this one will update every time a new one is released**
Anything by Olivia Cunning ** this one will update every time a new one is released**
Crossfire Series by Sylvia Day (All five – even though only 3 have been released)
Bronte Sisters – The Complete Novels