In 2009 the State of Ohio’s financial stability took a turn for the worse and because I worked for an agency that was dependent upon State and County funding, my job hung in the balance; another motivation to get my masters. I started looking for other job opportunities. The climate at the agency I transferred to in 2007 was drastically declining with the possibility of lay offs.
I applied for a job in Pike County, closer to my hometown, in 2010. My eldest aunt was failing fast and I wanted to get closer to home to be with her. I knew she wouldn’t be around for much longer. So as I stood enjoying the aquatic animals on the Island of Key West, my phone rang and it was the director of children services in Pike County. She offered me an interview and on Columbus Day she and the supervisor took time on their day off to interview me. It was one of the best interviews I’d had. We met for two and half hours. We did not stop laughing and talking the entire time. Needless to say, I got the job, but this proved to be a double-edged sword.
My taking the job meant that my son, who has special needs, would be starting at another school. Not only that, but his father would be very angry that we were moving again. Although when I originally left him in 2003, arrangements were made by the court for a half-way point to be used for the visitation exchange. Simply put, things would go back to that arrangement.
There were certainly pros to moving, too. We’d be closer to family. Although the pay would be less than my current wages, the security was priceless. No threat of lay offs; a new working environment that my prove to be much more positive. The school district we would be moving into would also be better. The agency would also allow me to finish my masters and fly out to North Dakota when it was time to graduate, a factor I knew would cause problems at the job I would be leaving. They didn’t like if you took any time off at all with their regimented, non-family friendly attitude. You were to eat, drink, and breath that job; not very realistic when the job is a high-stress, high maintenance situation. They frown on vacations or sick leave. Pathetic.
So, I took the job in Pike and started in December 2010 and as I settled in, I found a wonderful group of women. The agency was very small, employing only nine people or so. I was partnered with a person that would become a central part of my life and her friendship has been an absolute inspiration to me.
As I got to know these ladies, I found that they had tremendous faith. Since my faith was all but gone, it was interesting to listen to others talk about their faith in God and the power of prayer, especially when I had none. I was somewhere I finally felt like I belongs and was accepted. They helped prop me up. They helped me feel whole again. I had never felt more connected to people I worked with. We laughed together each day. We all got along. There was no back biting or caddy problems. We were more like family; a family that got along with each other. We celebrated triumphs for one another and cried when someone got hurt. I needed what they gave me; hope.
Amidst all of this positivity, negative lurked. My ex-husband, once more, took me back to court to argue over visitation. No matter how hard I tried to settle in and get things right, he was always there to steal; to steal my joy, my peace, my happiness, my money! I went back to court in 2011 to fight with him.
In February 2011 I bought my house. Finally, something was mine. I had lost one house in foreclosure. I had rented ever since. I’d filed bankruptcy in 2008. But, finally, I’d gotten on my feet enough to buy a home of my own. Something I could be proud of.
In August 2011, I flew out to North Dakota and finished my masters degree. Part of the project during my time there was that we had to present a solution as a group; we were given a project topic and we were graded on how well we presented. I did the write-up for the presentation and presented the material while the others helped research and put it in report form. The way I presented it was as if it were a story. It covered the aftermath of two rape victims and how it associates with PTSD. When we were done, many of my colleagues told me I should write a book.
That brings me to finishing The Fine Line. I started working diligently on it and my friend from work read the very first copy of the manuscript. It was after she read it that I seriously sought out publishing. Still, something didn’t feel right. The book originally came from a fundamentalist, religious perspective of solving problems, but I felt like I was writing empty words because I didn’t even believe that way anymore.
In April 2011 my eldest aunt passed away on my birthday. I hadn’t grieved over any of the other relatives like I grieved for her. I think it was because in my mind I saw her death as final; I would never see her again. If there was no afterlife, this was it; nothing beyond this.
I had been under chiropractic care for some time and the physician was wonderful. In fact, I found out about him from the director where I worked. I noticed after my aunt’s death I began experiencing intense depression and anxiety. I cried over nothing. I felt lost; broken. I didn’t want the intervention of traditional medicine and anti-depressants. Because my chiropractor was also an holistic physician, I sought his help first. I started the journey to healthier mind by engaging in a natural regiment of minerals and vitamins to straighten out the depression and anxiety. Ironically, what I feared most remained untouched: death.
Anyway, you’re probably asking how the paranormal fits into all of this. Well, the aforementioned is the back story to where I’m going with this next Saturday. I know this sort of leaves you hanging, but it will be very important for next Saturday’s blog and how my life completely changed in the Spring of 2012.
Hope you enjoyed today’s reveal.