It was 2004. My life took a drastic turn when I got divorced. I lost hope in my faith. I lost hope in many things. I was now a single mother, on welfare, depending on my parents once more, and felt lower than low. I tried to find peace and acceptance in church, but that didn’t happen. I was working full time still barely able to make ends meet so I didn’t have a lot of extra time to much else.
My son wasn’t even two when I decided to leave my ex-husband. I had to share him throughout his early childhood which made me very bitter. My baby had to leave me every other weekend and on important holidays. As a mother and a person, I can tell you that takes a toll on you. So, the hopelessness didn’t get any better.
I moved into an apartment across from my parents. My paranormal experiences all but disappeared. The only significant things I remember from 2004 to 2005 was one incident. I was in bed in the upstairs portion of my little place. My son was with me and sleeping right beside me. I heard my name on the stairs. It sounded like my dad. He had a key to my place so I assumed he needed something. I answered him and said, “What?” There was no answer back.
I got up and walked downstairs fully prepared to find my dad. No one was there. When I talked to him the next day he said he hadn’t been to the house. Honestly, I shrugged it off to my instability and didn’t give it another thought.
I moved out of my apartment and bought a place up the street in February 2005. I finally had a stable job paying good money for my area. I always felt like someone else lived in that house with me, but I didn’t feel threatened in any way. I knew that the woman I’d bought the house from was widowed and her husband passed away in the house.
I met my current husband in 2006 (April). My house had a large glass screen door opening up to the living room of the house. One day I pulled into the driveway and out of the corner of my eye I saw him standing in the doorway. I figured something must be up. When I got out of the car, he wasn’t standing in the doorway anymore. I walked in and walked to the basement where he kept his office. I asked him what he needed. He looked confused. I told him that I saw him standing in the doorway when I pulled in. He said he’d been in the basement and hadn’t been upstairs for the last hour. It wasn’t my son because he was still at my mom and dad’s. I realized then that I saw the man who’d passed away in the house. As I said, however, I never felt threatened by him. I actually felt comforted that he was there. I knew he took to my son because my son mentioned seeing an old man in the house, but that it didn’t scare him. I should clarify that, he said he had dreams about an old man; he never actually saw him.
In 2007 I moved back to Southwestern Ohio. My son desperately needed his father on a more full-time basis and after two years, we were getting along better than we ever did while we were married. So, I transferred to a county agency there and began working in May 2007. No paranormal incidents occurred again for the next four years.
To be blunt, I moved from having some faith to having very little to having none at all. In my mind I began questioning the existence of God, heaven, hell, a higher power; you name it, I didn’t believe in it. I thought of myself of an agnostic but in reality I was an atheist.
In 2008 we lived in a home that had been build during the Civil War. Across the street stood a majestic historical home. It was actually on the Ohio registry. Southwestern Ohio got some pretty hellish storms. Lightening hit a tree in their yard. They hadn’t discovered it, so my husband (boyfriend at that time) and I walked across the street and told them. They invited us into the house. I fell in love. The layout; the decor. It was beautiful.
It was then that the idea for The Fine Line was born. That house inspired Pikeview Manor in my book. Because of my own paranormal experiences, I wanted to share them through the characters of a book. Iron Man inspired the character of Matthew Gregory. And there it was. The Fine Line was born. However, I started back to school for my master’s degree in 2009 and writing for pleasure was put on the back burner again.
I wrote while I was married to my son’s father, but there was always so much turmoil, I never took it seriously. I was happy to get back to it in 2008 but realized my education needed to take center stage.
Going back to school made me further question anything outside of this life. In 2010 my life changed as far as health was concerned. I grew tired of being overweight and my diabetes being completely out of control. I joined a medically monitored weight loss program as everyone else around got gastric bypass and the lap band. I wanted to do it on my own, so not only did I set educational goals, but I set physical goals also. Because I felt more on my own than ever, I figured, the only way to do anything was to do it myself. I never felt more alone, but I’d never felt more accomplished in my life up to that point. Strange huh? Feeling alone in this world motivated me. Looking back on it, I don’t see it as a loss or a mistake.
Sometimes the Creator knows how to get a hold of you even when you’re not listening. My Creator used so many things to help me and I didn’t even know He was the driving force behind all of it. Now that I’m where I should be spiritually, I can see it. It wasn’t me who did anything. He was pushing me to be better. He was behind my motivation to become more educated and to become healthier.
My writing would take off again in 2011 when I graduated with my master’s and it was at that time I really sought out to get published. However, the story line of The Fine Line underwent change upon change as my spirituality started changing.
More to come next Saturday!